Dynamics of Intimacy

In my experience, I have never, ever seen a couple where they don’t resent that dynamic, where they’re in it, but they actually aren’t happy with it. If you scratch under the surface, they’ve developed those ratios as a defense mechanism. We had a couple on the retreat, she had a long-standing history of abuse and assault and being sexually and physically abused as a child. She just built up this wall, this really strong, strong, competent, capable-type wall and was definitely more of the masculine role in the relationship. The man, through his own history and trauma and wounding, became more feminine. Learn more at https://erinjgz.wordpress.com/2016/03/28/phallacy-for-men-and-extenders/ and http://hartch25.weebly.com/our-marketing-blog/you-are-enough-feeling-with-pheromones

But to really discuss it, what they both were craving was more of the opposite. That takes some guts to really acknowledge, okay, we’ve been existing in these roles that have served us for whatever compensatory or defense mechanism reasons, and now we’re deciding to go the other way. Then the big thing—and I emphasized this as well in the videos—is there’s a period of transition, where you talk about it, you acknowledge it’s at play and then you try to map out all the areas where you have taken on more feminine and she’s taken on more masculine, and then how you want to change it. What would it look like? How would it feel better to each of you? Then there’s a forgiveness period where each person is awkwardly trying on these new energies and they aren’t going to get it right off the bat, there’s going to be some fumbling and to understand that and not be like, “Oh! He’s not going it right,” or “Oh! She’s doing it again.” It’s the, yeah, okay, and let’s acknowledge that and be gentle with it and keep going. It can totally be shifted around and generally both sexes are more nourished when I say that they’re living—like I’m open to this idea that there could be a scenario where there’s a more masculine woman and a more feminine man and they’re happy there, I’ve just never seen it. When I see these people who are occupying these roles and when I talk to them and like I said, scratch under the surface, it’s never really where they want to be. They’ve come there, evolved there, but it’s not a genuine evolution, it’s more of a survival evolution, survival mechanisms or trying to get by and doing the best they can with what they have, which isn’t necessarily a self-actualized true identity of each person. This is a life-long process and a lot of the practices and the energies here are geared to help you occupy your role as the man and the more that you do that, you can help to evoke and help the woman trust. Your mantra as the man is, “If you fall, I will catch you. If you fall, I will catch you.” That’s really all of the work, all of the practices that we’re doing here are geared toward that. Obviously you’re nourishing yourself as a man in the masculine in all kinds of areas in your life, from your work to your sex life, as a parent, your social surroundings. But essentially in the relationship, that’s your mantra: If you fall, I will catch you. Learn more at http://enlargement-world.blogspot.com/2017/03/how-should-i-act-if-squirterwetter-wets.html